The One Good Thing to Come Out of the Twilight Phenomenon

I have made a discovery of such great awesomeness that I must share it with all. It's all about... Twilight, yes I know, Twilight. Now before you go get your panties all in a bunch, crying over the stupidity of the feminine gender's obsession over this ridiculous, overdramatic, emotional load of crappy writing, hear me out. I detest pretty much everything Twilight, I promise. Somehow (I can't remember exactly how anymore) I stumbled upon a little gem that is all about Twilight and I fell in love.

So this guy, Dan, is a writer for Sparknotes. He's probably in his mid-twenties, attractive, and absolutely hilarious. Apparently the editors at Sparknotes found out he was one of the only people at Sparknotes that had never read or seen anything regarding Twilight so they asked him to read the series and blog about it as he went along. Genius!

I was intrigued by this concept because I thought it would be interesting to see a guy's thoughts on these books. It wasn't just interesting, it has been super entertaining. I have felt like a complete idiot more than once as I find myself laughing out loud all alone. Seriously though, check it out! The farther into the book you go, the funnier it gets. Oh, and he has awesome cartoons at the beginning of each chapter :) Here's just a little taste to whet your appetite:

Excerpt from the blog for the first chapter of New Moon

Chapter One: Party

Better title: My Kingdom for a Band-Aid

The lovebirds walk into the house, and are greeted by everyone shouting, "Happy birthday!" The house is decorated with pink roses, silver, and crystal. It's very impressive, but a properly planned Dora the Explorer-themed party could be just as classy, and twice as fun.

Bella responds to the decorations and all the attention by telling us, "It was a hundred times worse than I'd imagined." After reading that sentence, I've decided that Bella is the worst character in literature, beating out Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Dr. Doom from The Fantastic Four. What an ungrateful, horrible, lousy person.

Emmett is happy to see Bella, but quickly excuses himself with a wink and goes outside. Alice and Jasper greet Bella, and Jasper, who still loves human blood a bit too much, acts distant and odd. Alice then says it's time to open presents, and gives Bella a box. There is nothing inside. The box contained a new stereo for Bella's truck, which Emmett ran out to install so that Bella wouldn't be able to return the gift. How tricky.

Alice then gives Bella another present to open, this one from Edward. She gives him a mean stare, but he assures her that he didn't spend any money on the gift. As she opens the present, the wrapping paper cuts her finger, and all hell breaks loose.

Edward screams, "No!" Jasper gets his hungry eyes and charges at Bella, and Edward comes running over and pushes her out of the way and over a table, crashing into some glassware (side note: Why do vampires have glassware? I thought most of their meals were eaten on the go). Jasper runs into Edward, creating a loud, rock-like sound. The amazing Emmett then holds Jasper back. As Bella looks around, she realizes the crash caused a more severe cut on her hand, and now she has six hungry vampires staring down at her.

Prediction: (This is Dan's prediction for the next chapter, probably my favorite part of each post) Jasper shouts "Five-second rule!" before diving for Bella's blood on the floor. Later, Bella nicks her leg while shaving. Jasper goes nuts, but Edward protects Bella. The insane, ravenous Jasper kills hundreds of people in his maddened state of bloodlust. The next day he apologizes to Bella and offers her a bottle of Nair with a sheepish grin. All is forgiven.

Anyway, go check it out...

http://community.sparknotes.com/index.php/2009/07/16/blogging-twilight-index-page/

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