But seriously, I've pretty much planned on a mission my entire life. Then I got to college... Did you know it's a lot harder and more complicated to drop everything in your third year of school then it seems? Anyway, I wasn't sure if a mission was going to work out for me but I still had over 2 years until I had to decide so I kind of left it in the back of my mind. It was still enough of an option that I always included it in my future plans as a possibility but I still wasn't sure if it would happen.
Fast forward to December 2010. I had just turned 21 the month before, had yet to officially declare my major, and definitely hadn't decided on a mission. Over Christmas break all would be decided. My wonderful friends from high school put a breakfast together so we could all catch up with one another. It was so great to see everyone together again and to hear about all the amazing things they were doing with their lives. All of them are so on top of things and were making such good decisions. They made me realize I needed to get things figured out. So, I figured I'd set up an appointment with my home ward Bishop just to chat and get his advice on things. Like 2 days after I made this decision I got a text, "Hi Lauren, this is Bishop Jardine. I hope you have had a good Christmas. I was wondering if you would be willing to meet with me this Sunday?"
Well that was easy enough! I responded that I had been hoping to meet with him anyway and Sunday would work perfect. I have to say it kind of freaked me out that he had been the one to set up our appointment. Going in I was pretty sure a mission would come up since he really didn't need to meet with me as I have my own Bishop down at BYU but I wasn't sure what to expect. After saying our "hello's" we sat down and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Lauren, have you thought about serving a mission?" I told him that that is why I had wanted to meet with him. He said he'd never asked a sister that before but he felt like he should with me. He said it was completely my choice but that he felt I would do a great job if I did choose to serve.
That was pretty much all I needed to push me in the right direction. We decided that I should start filling out my papers and I would know if it wasn't what I was supposed to do. After our chat I was about 90% sure that I was supposed to go on a mission but as that was my first real search for an answer I figured I should probably add a bit more personal thought and prayer into it before I said it was a sure thing.
My reasons for going on a mission:
I've always wanted to
I'd regret it if I didn't
Nothing is standing in the way:
- Again, no boys so the higher priority of marriage is not in the way :)
- I go to BYU so school is not an issue
I want to improve my academic and spiritual discipline and I think a mission would help
To live away from home
To experience the world from a different point of view
To learn a language
There are other reasons but of course the main reason is that I've always wanted to have more opportunities to share the things that I know about this life and the next (BYU isn't exactly optimal for that). To give others the chance to have what I have and to experience the blessings that can be available to them and to do something to repay my Heavenly Father even a tiny bit for everything He has done for me.
So my reasons to go list covers pretty much everything so it's pretty clear I should and need to go. There are reasons for me to stay. They sound dumb, even to me, but they are the things that I will have the hardest time sacrificing. Reasonable things aren't even on this list, I'm almost embarrassed at what I'm worried about missing but here are some:
- Lives of friends and family. I have a feeling that the next year or so is going to mean marriage or baby for many a friend or cousin and it is honestly hard for me to know I will miss out on those things or even smaller things like my brother's games or performances.
- Sports seasons, auditions and shows, things that don't happen exactly the same twice. Completely irrational I know.
- Fear of losing skills like voice, dance, acting, etc.
Obviously all selfish, worldly, dumb, dumb reasons. I didn't even have the normal worry of most sister missionaries apparently. My Stake President asked if I had any fears or worries and I told him that it was hard knowing I was missing out on things. He assumed that I was afraid of missing out on dating and marriage hahaha. I laughed at that one. Definitely not worried about that. I explained what I meant and also let him know my basic history with men. We enjoyed a shared chuckle at my expense ;)
Anyway, the minute I figured out my logic for possibly not going I knew there was no way I wasn't going. So here I am excited, anxious, nervous, and truly confident in my decision. Since I realized there was nothing worthwhile holding me back it has gotten so much easier to let all those reasons go. When I think about the things I will miss I don't get sad about it and those things no longer seem as important. I know I am ready for this and I know Heavenly Father is helping me to see the bigger picture and to forget myself a little more each day.
Can't wait for tomorrow!
P.S. I need to thank this guy for the wonderful basketball season he has given me before I leave. I really enjoyed our elevator ride the other day Jimmer. Good luck in the Sweet Sixteen!
"Jimmer Fredette, nothing but net!"
